Inspiration 365 Days!

For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.

[As received in an email]

George Carlin on age.
(Absolutely Brilliant)

IF YOU DON’T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.

George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute.

He may not seem such a good friend after telling.

— Arthur Brisbane, “The Book of Today”

A couple was on the verge of divorce. The husband still loved the wife and wanted to save the marriage. So he went to the pastor for council.

“Don’t argue with your wife. Keep quiet and listen to what your wife has to say,” suggested the pastor.

A month later, the husband told the pastor he had learnt to listen to every word his wife said.

“Good. Now it’s time to learn to listen to every word your wife doesn’t say,” the pastor said.

Hipposode 4: Going Swimming

Hipposode 5: Tsunami

Hipposode 6: Shell Fix-it

— Official Owen and Mzee Website

Hipposode 1: The First Day!

Hipposode 2: Let’s Eat!

Hipposode 3: Too Hot!

— Official Owen and Mzee Website

Owen and Mzee are a hippopotamus and a tortoise, respectively, that appear to have formed a unique bond of friendship.

A baby hippopotamus, Owen, was orphaned in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Kenya near Malindi during the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake on December 26, 2004. The baby hippo, weighing 600 pounds (270 kg), was rescued during a day long effort by nearly 1,000 villagers using shark nets. Owen’s namesake is a villager named Owen Saubion, who finally tackled the hippo during the rescue.

On their 50th wedding anniversary, everyone were pestering Mary and George to tell their secrets to such a long marriage. The couple were grinning all the time, but they weren’t talking. They were quite happy simply sitting side by side and holding each other’s hand.

“Mary, come on now. Tell us your secrets,” urged Ruth, Mary’s good friend. “Give all the youngsters here a hint. Help them look forward to their own 50th anniversaries.”

“Yes, yes. Help us out. Please do tell,” everyone agreed.

Mary finally relented, “There isn’t any secret. Really.” Everyone was disappointed. Then Mary continued, “I did make a vow to myself on wedding day though.”

Heart lived in a very secured house with an unbreakable lock.

One day, the cocky Crowbar came to visit Heart.

“If you can open the lock, you can come in,” Heart told Crowbar.

“No problem. I’ll meet you in a jiffy,” Crowbar sounded confident. Being strong, he thought he could break open the lock in no time. But no matter how hard he chiseled and hammered, the lock wouldn’t budge.

His friend Saw who came with him couldn’t bear it any longer, “Oh, come on! You can’t even break a little lock. Why don’t you step aside and let THE man do it?”

Jimmy, a young and very successful executive, was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going pretty fast, proudly showing off his two-month old sleek, black, shining 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE.

He thought he caught a flash of some kids hiding between parked cars. Afraid that they might dart out while playing, he slowed down. No child darted out as his car passed, but…

WHAM!